Waiting rooms are bitter sweet places. It is a volatile space where emotions ebb and flow with the tide of oceans and the gravitational pull of the moon. Some find solace and camaraderie there. Others attempt to use the square footage to gather themselves and rediscover composure. Many avoid them all together, fearing the return of ghosts that haunt their recent or distant memories. But regardless of how you utilize a waiting room, one fact is inescapable: everyone is forced to wait.
This indefinite purgatory can wear on the nerves and weaken the resolve of the strongest humans. Each person who sits in the familiar hospital-grade furniture is waiting for answers, waiting for responses, waiting for doctors, waiting for nurses, waiting for healing, waiting for God. We’re all equally helpless, forced to sit on warn cushions as a consultation prize for our lack of omnipotence. The majority of waiting-room participants want to do something, but they can’t, and it can be maddening to entrust the ‘anwer-finding-work’ to professionals who admit they are practicing. We wait; and wait some more, and wait still more. We pray; and we pray some more, and we pray still more. We cry; and we cry some more, and we cry still more. When we finish, the sanity threatening cycle resets and simply begins again.
To be honest, this space seems hardest on believers. You see, if you didn’t believe in a higher power, you would more readily accept your helpless state. You wouldn’t have as much internal tension. You would pay tribute to luck or chance and resign yourself to waiting for probability to determine the fate of your situation. However, when God enters the picture (especially one claiming to be loving, good, just, and pure) it becomes more complex. You question how much you are to contribute versus how much God is supposed to contribute. You question who is supposed to make the next move. You question if your bruised faith was wounded by an aggressive devil or a negligent savior.
The waiting room can be a brutal place. It is the weigh-station for belief, and on a couple of occasions, I have been weighed in the balance and found wanting. Am I trying to be patient? With all of my heart. Am I trying to keep the faith? I’m actually hoping faith keeps me. Am I trying to “stand still and see the glory of the Lord”? Honestly, that’s all I can do. And that’s what’s so tough about this room–it only invites you to do one thing–wait.
Here is Jesher’s current medical report:
BRAIN–Jesher’s brain is no longer bleeding, but the blood did build-up in his brain has caused brain trauma. The doctor’s have not seen any signs of encumbered neurological function, but this is an area of concern. We need Jesher’s body to break-down the blood in his brain and rebuild any damaged tissue caused by the bleeding. PLEASE ASK YAHWEH TO REMOVE THE BLOOD FROM JESHER’S BRAIN AND TO FULLY RESTORE ANY DAMAGED AREAS.
FEEDING–Jesher is now up to 12cc of breast-milk per meal! He eats every three hours (via a gravity-line) and has processed the food quite well thus far. As of today, Lhorraine’s milk is being fortified with elements that will aid Jesher’s weight gain. Naturally, breast-milk is full of nutrients; however, it is burned quickly. So these supplemental additions to the milk will help Jesher add the calories he needs to maintain the rate-of-growth he would experience in the womb. PLEASE PRAY FOR JESHER’S DIGESTIVE SYSTEM TO BE STRENGTHENED SO THAT HE IS ABLE TO TOLERATE THE FORTIFIED MILK AND PUT ON THE WEIGHT HIS BODY NEEDS TO SUPPORT BONE AND MUSCLE GROWTH.
HEART–Jesher’s heart murmur is softening. The PDA [Patent Ductus Arteriosus] is still open, but they believe the indomethacin that he’s received the past two days is helping the hole to close. When this hole closes, Jesher’s blood flow will be improved which will encourage proper circulation throughout his body. PLEASE ASK THE LORD TO CLOSE THE HOLE IN JESHER’S HEART.
LUNGS–Jesher is being placed on a different ventilator. He is not releasing enough carbon-dioxide which hampers the overall oxygenation of his blood. Also, one of the lobes in his right lung has collapsed again, so he is receiving percussion treatments to open the lobe again. PLEASE PRAY THAT GOD’S RUACH (BREATH OF LIFE) IS GIVEN TO STRENGTHEN JESHER’S LUNGS AND DISPEL THE HIGH CARBON DIOXIDE LEVELS IN JESHER’S BLOOD.
The current projection is that we will be able to take Jesher home sometime in June. To put it lightly, that is a long wait. At times, it feels like too long of a wait. But I found a stanza of a famous hymn that encouraged me…it let me know that my waiting wouldn’t be in vain. It comforted my impatience, and renewed a steadfast spirit within me. It gave me the courage to put my jersey back on and check back into the waiting game.
“Sweet hour of prayer, Sweet hour of prayer! / Thy wings will my petition bear / To Him whose truth and faithfulness / Engage the waiting soul to bless / And since He bids me seek His face / Believe His word and trust His grace / I will cast on Him my every care / And wait for thee sweet hour of prayer.”
“But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!”
2 Chronicles 20:17